my joys: being outdoors, the sound and smell of rain, eating with my fingers, being with people i love, falling asleep in the sunshine, not using capitals, sitting still.
My daughter is moving to Denver…leaving Salisbuy, MD. A place she thought she would hate forever, but has learned to love. I can still remember the torture of loading her things into that U-haul truck, and the two of us following behind her father all the way to Salisbury. She was not a happy camper!
Funny how time changes things…sometimes for the worst, sometimes for the best. Sometimes not at all…well, I don’t know if I believe that or not. Life is about change. That is for certain.
I have been hoping that someday Sarah would want to move out to the west coast where her Dad, brothers, and I reside now. How long for her brothers, I don’t know. But, they like it here, and if jobs open up that will support them, I think they will stay. Colorado has grown on all of us quickly. Besides, one of the factors behind my willingness to come here was Sarah’s exuberation about Colorado, and how awesome it would be to live there!
And, finally, to our surprise, Sarah has decided to give it a whirl, and come out to start a new position in her career. (Shocking to me…because I soon learned NOT to ask if she was entertaining the idea of moving out here, in hopes of keeping my head!) It will be challenging, but exciting. I think Sarah has reached much of her career potential where she is…although she loves it. But, Sarah is a sponge…always hungry to learn something new. I think this job will provide that experience for her for some time to come. Not only will she thrive on the learning part of her job, but I think she will find she has the opportunity to be of moral and spiritual support to so many of the patients there…many of whom are young and paralyzed for life.
But, in our excitement to have her here, there has been a down side. Isn’t there always? Sarah has had an extremely difficult time leaving behind the people she has grown to love as extended family. Sarah doesn’t understand how I was so willing to pack up and leave Virginia after 13 years, the house where we had raised our kids through much of their adolescence, and my extended family of neighbors and co-workers. What she doesn’t understand, is after 30 years of marriage, I have hardened to moving…for lack of a better word. We’ve been from Texas to Chicago, to Mississippi, to Washington, DC, to Texas, back to Washington, DC, and now to Denver. I’ve had some experience at this moving thing, although I often went kicking and screaming! Ask Sarah’s Dad!
What Sarah doesn’t fully know or understand is that in my early years, moving was nothing less than torture for me. I had grown up in the same town where my parents brought me home from the hospital…in the very same house, until I graduated from high school. Many of the people I graduated with, I had started to school with in kindergarten! When we graduated, I sobbed! These were lifelong friends I had made through 13 years of school, in a town of about 10,000. How could we all just leave and go our separate ways? For most, I don’t think it affected them quite as much as it did me. I was an only child and held tight to my friendships and the people I loved. Quite frankly, I felt completely lost and devastated. In fact, for a number of years, I struggled with finding where I should be and sorting out life. Not a time I would ever care to experience again. Want to be 20 something, again…heck, no!
Unlike me…Sarah left F’burg and headed off to college without ever looking back. She was ready mentally and emotionally. I don’t think the girl was homesick one day/night through her six years there! But, Sarah has been independent from birth. I’ve often said it is amazing to me that she didn’t leave the hospital nursery and just leave us a note. And, Sarah has almost always been somewhat of a Mom…helping to raise her brothers without a second thought, and often comforting me in stressful situations like getting lost on a trip, etc…at 5 years old, I might add!
In addition, Sarah doesn’t know all of the tears I’ve cried…leaving my Mother through the years, and struggling through each and every move, settling into a new community, and once again, starting over. I was never a good mover. It always took me at least a year to start feeling settled, and to let go of where we’d come from to accept starting over. Many times I fought depression.
But, this last move was different. Perhaps because my kids were out of high school and college, and helping them get adjusted to a new place wasn’t the same as when they depended on me a bit more, and they had to make new friends, in new schools, and new neighborhoods. That’s a burden every Mother carries, even though it’s the kids who have to make the adjustment.
What amazes me about this move for Sarah is that she has always been so independent and brave…she’s not afraid to try anything and will take off in her car (or on a plane) without having any idea of the roads ahead, never before traveled, and not even be the least bit hesitant. The girl is all about adventure.
So, I have to ask myself why is this move so very hard for her? She loves Colorado and coming to visit. Her family is here, but yet she isn’t at peace about this move? She thought her Dad and I were “so brave” to just pull up stakes after 13 years, and move from the east coast to the west, but I’ve always thought she was the brave one…never turning her back on any adventure that presented itself to her.
I hope Sarah will be happy in Colorado. It’s a great place to live, and even though her family (Mother) can get on her very last nerve in a heartbeat, we are here for her! I’m looking forward to holidays together, whenever we can be together, looking forward to dropping by to visit from time to time, making a late night run to Sonic, or whatever comes along.
While Sarah is having a hard time leaving the people she has grown to love so dearly, she will find new friends…some who will become as dear to her, and others, perhaps not. Leaving Salisbury doesn’t mean losing her friends…yes, it is different with the miles between, but the really significant relationships always remain “a tie that binds.” Likewise, many of the people she is so dreading to leave, will soon be moving on in their lives, as well. Like I’ve told her time and time again, life is about change…whether we like it or not. Even if Sarah stayed, others will be moving on, as well…to colleges, to new jobs, etc.
Hopefully Sarah will find her “nitch” here, and in time, come to love Colorado as much as she learned to love Salisbury. Her family is certainly excited she’s coming!
Many of the friendships we’ve established over the years and through the moves, we’ve maintained. Yes, they often diminish through the years, but if they ever needed us, or vice versa, we’d all drop what we were doing and step up to the plate without blinking an eye. And, when I look back over the years, I realize that if we hadn’t made those moves, there are friends we have grown to love immensely that we would have never met, if we had stayed in one place.
Sarah called us brave when we left Virginia almost a year and a half ago, but the funny part is, I’ve always considered her the brave one. She has a sense of adventure that I have never had, always being content to stay close to home, and in my comfort zone. Not Sarah!
But, this time is different, and quite frankly, I don’t know how to help her through this one. Even after all these years, I remember vividly when it was “so painful it hurts” to love so deeply! Pray that Sarah will transition easier than she expects, and encourage her when she is blue and so very lonely for the people she has left behind. I know there are good things awaiting Sarah in Colorado…I hope she finds it in her heart to go forward with the sense of adventure she has in her past 27 years.
3 comments:
But it's worth the pain =]
Love you!
My daughter is moving to Denver…leaving Salisbuy, MD. A place she thought she would hate forever, but has learned to love. I can still remember the torture of loading her things into that U-haul truck, and the two of us following behind her father all the way to Salisbury. She was not a happy camper!
Funny how time changes things…sometimes for the worst, sometimes for the best. Sometimes not at all…well, I don’t know if I believe that or not. Life is about change. That is for certain.
I have been hoping that someday Sarah would want to move out to the west coast where her Dad, brothers, and I reside now. How long for her brothers, I don’t know. But, they like it here, and if jobs open up that will support them, I think they will stay. Colorado has grown on all of us quickly. Besides, one of the factors behind my willingness to come here was Sarah’s exuberation about Colorado, and how awesome it would be to live there!
And, finally, to our surprise, Sarah has decided to give it a whirl, and come out to start a new position in her career. (Shocking to me…because I soon learned NOT to ask if she was entertaining the idea of moving out here, in hopes of keeping my head!) It will be challenging, but exciting. I think Sarah has reached much of her career potential where she is…although she loves it. But, Sarah is a sponge…always hungry to learn something new. I think this job will provide that experience for her for some time to come. Not only will she thrive on the learning part of her job, but I think she will find she has the opportunity to be of moral and spiritual support to so many of the patients there…many of whom are young and paralyzed for life.
But, in our excitement to have her here, there has been a down side. Isn’t there always? Sarah has had an extremely difficult time leaving behind the people she has grown to love as extended family. Sarah doesn’t understand how I was so willing to pack up and leave Virginia after 13 years, the house where we had raised our kids through much of their adolescence, and my extended family of neighbors and co-workers. What she doesn’t understand, is after 30 years of marriage, I have hardened to moving…for lack of a better word. We’ve been from Texas to Chicago, to Mississippi, to Washington, DC, to Texas, back to Washington, DC, and now to Denver. I’ve had some experience at this moving thing, although I often went kicking and screaming! Ask Sarah’s Dad!
What Sarah doesn’t fully know or understand is that in my early years, moving was nothing less than torture for me. I had grown up in the same town where my parents brought me home from the hospital…in the very same house, until I graduated from high school. Many of the people I graduated with, I had started to school with in kindergarten! When we graduated, I sobbed! These were lifelong friends I had made through 13 years of school, in a town of about 10,000. How could we all just leave and go our separate ways? For most, I don’t think it affected them quite as much as it did me. I was an only child and held tight to my friendships and the people I loved. Quite frankly, I felt completely lost and devastated. In fact, for a number of years, I struggled with finding where I should be and sorting out life. Not a time I would ever care to experience again. Want to be 20 something, again…heck, no!
Unlike me…Sarah left F’burg and headed off to college without ever looking back. She was ready mentally and emotionally. I don’t think the girl was homesick one day/night through her six years there! But, Sarah has been independent from birth. I’ve often said it is amazing to me that she didn’t leave the hospital nursery and just leave us a note. And, Sarah has almost always been somewhat of a Mom…helping to raise her brothers without a second thought, and often comforting me in stressful situations like getting lost on a trip, etc…at 5 years old, I might add!
In addition, Sarah doesn’t know all of the tears I’ve cried…leaving my Mother through the years, and struggling through each and every move, settling into a new community, and once again, starting over. I was never a good mover. It always took me at least a year to start feeling settled, and to let go of where we’d come from to accept starting over. Many times I fought depression.
But, this last move was different. Perhaps because my kids were out of high school and college, and helping them get adjusted to a new place wasn’t the same as when they depended on me a bit more, and they had to make new friends, in new schools, and new neighborhoods. That’s a burden every Mother carries, even though it’s the kids who have to make the adjustment.
What amazes me about this move for Sarah is that she has always been so independent and brave…she’s not afraid to try anything and will take off in her car (or on a plane) without having any idea of the roads ahead, never before traveled, and not even be the least bit hesitant. The girl is all about adventure.
So, I have to ask myself why is this move so very hard for her? She loves Colorado and coming to visit. Her family is here, but yet she isn’t at peace about this move? She thought her Dad and I were “so brave” to just pull up stakes after 13 years, and move from the east coast to the west, but I’ve always thought she was the brave one…never turning her back on any adventure that presented itself to her.
I hope Sarah will be happy in Colorado. It’s a great place to live, and even though her family (Mother) can get on her very last nerve in a heartbeat, we are here for her! I’m looking forward to holidays together, whenever we can be together, looking forward to dropping by to visit from time to time, making a late night run to Sonic, or whatever comes along.
While Sarah is having a hard time leaving the people she has grown to love so dearly, she will find new friends…some who will become as dear to her, and others, perhaps not. Leaving Salisbury doesn’t mean losing her friends…yes, it is different with the miles between, but the really significant relationships always remain “a tie that binds.” Likewise, many of the people she is so dreading to leave, will soon be moving on in their lives, as well. Like I’ve told her time and time again, life is about change…whether we like it or not. Even if Sarah stayed, others will be moving on, as well…to colleges, to new jobs, etc.
Hopefully Sarah will find her “nitch” here, and in time, come to love Colorado as much as she learned to love Salisbury. Her family is certainly excited she’s coming!
Many of the friendships we’ve established over the years and through the moves, we’ve maintained. Yes, they often diminish through the years, but if they ever needed us, or vice versa, we’d all drop what we were doing and step up to the plate without blinking an eye. And, when I look back over the years, I realize that if we hadn’t made those moves, there are friends we have grown to love immensely that we would have never met, if we had stayed in one place.
Sarah called us brave when we left Virginia almost a year and a half ago, but the funny part is, I’ve always considered her the brave one. She has a sense of adventure that I have never had, always being content to stay close to home, and in my comfort zone. Not Sarah!
But, this time is different, and quite frankly, I don’t know how to help her through this one. Even after all these years, I remember vividly when it was “so painful it hurts” to love so deeply!
Pray that Sarah will transition easier than she expects, and encourage her when she is blue and so very lonely for the people she has left behind. I know there are good things awaiting Sarah in Colorado…I hope she finds it in her heart to go forward with the sense of adventure she has in her past 27 years.
oh i am feeling that. whew.
and that is the longest post i have ever or shall ever read.
can't wait to come see you sarah! in your new home
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