loving people deeply hurts a lot sometimes.

i have beef with hallmark.

and any other card company, for that matter.

i need a specific kind of card. i went to hallmark thinking i would find some. hallmark has cards for everything, yes? obscure holidays like boss's day (a whole section of cards!!!). weird ones like "from your pet" cards and "have fun on your upcoming trip" cards.

but let me just tell you: they do not have everything.

goodbye cards are non-existant. granted, if you are the person saying goodbye to someone who is leaving, you have a fair selection. but there are no such cards if you are the person who is acutally leaving. there are no "I am going away and will miss you more than you know" cards.

so there's my beef.

luckily, i know how to write my own sappy messages.

from Valley of Vision:

Father of Jesus,
dawn returns,
but without thy light within no outward light can profit;
give me the saving lamp of they Spirit that I may see thee,
the God of my salvation, the delight of my soul,
rejoicing over me in love.
I commend my heart to they watchful care,
for I know its treachery and power;
guard its every portal from the wily enemy,
give me quick discernment of his deadly arts,
help me to recognize his bold disguise as an angel of light,
and bid him begone.
may my words and works allure others to the highest walks
of faith and love!
may loiterers be quickened to greater diligence by my example!
may worldlings be won to delight in acquaintance with thee!
may the timid and irresolute be warned of coming doom
by my zeal for Jesus!
cause me to be a mirror of thy grace,
to show others the joy of thy service,
may my lips be well-tuned cymbals sounding thy praise,
let a halo of heavenly-mindedness sparkle around me
and a lamp of kindness sunbeam my path.
teach me the happy art of attending to things temporal
with a mind intent on things eternal.
send me forth to have compassion on the ignorant and miserable.
help me to walk as Jesus walked,
my only Savior and perfect model,
his mind my inward guest,
his meekness my covering garb.
let my happy place be amongst the poor in spirit
my delight the gentle ranks of the meek.
let me always esteem others better than myself,
and find in true humility an heirdom of two worlds.

how much i desire this to be my life . . .