whys and hows

it's the "why" questions that are the hardest.

i must have learned this at an early age. we all do, i suppose. seems that all kids go thru that phase where they ask a question, they get an answer and then the immediate next thought is "but why?" and then the answer to that question is followed with, "but why?" and so forth and so on until the answerer is exhausted and out of answers.

why do lightning bugs light up?
why can't i hit my brother if he hits me first?
why do i have to go to school?
why was that girl mean to me?

seems our hearts, even when we are little, long to know the "why" of things.

only when we get older, or why questions become a little deeper . . . a little more involved . . .

why does sickness and death strike people that we love so strongly and suddenly?
why do we humans hurt each other so much?
why is it that God seems so far off sometimes?
why am i the way i am?
why is it that people have such a hard time agreeing on things?

and somehow, even if the more involved "why" questions are answered, often times they only lead into the more complicated "how" questions . . .

how are we to deal with grief and pain?
how do we find peace and forgiveness and love for people that have hurt us?
how do we have a relationship with God?
how do we become the people we were intended to be?
how do we know which "truths" and really the Truth?

in these questioning moments (which life is overwhelmingly full of) it seems my belief in God - in Yawheh, the only true God - is clutch.

because as much as i search the history books or the 6 o' clock news or the internet, the answers are not there. not even science or common sense or philsophers or my parents can give me all the answers to all the "why" questions. and none of those give me effective answers to the "how" questions either.

but then i search the Scriptures. and i see Him. God shows up and speaks of our condition as humans, of my particular struggles and of Himself. and He gives answers. not always the answers that i thought i wanted, or to the fullness i wanted, or in a way that i completely understand, but answers nonetheless. sometimes the answer can simply be, "I have brought this about. and it is good. because I am Good. so trust it. trust Me."

and if i don't always get it . . . if i don't always like the answer, i am forced to remember that i am not God. and that i'm not always going to get it. His understanding if so far superior to mine that it is astounding. and He may not ever tell me the answer fully or so that i can grasp the reasoning.

but i read - and so believe - that He is Creator, Life-Giver, Sustainer. that He is Love and Truth and Justice. and i look further into the story to see all of that lived out in a man named Jesus. and i get trust-evoking answers to the why questions. and effective, life-changing answers to the how questions.

He is enough to handle all of the questions. all of the whys and the hows.